


Tickled Pink

by ssg



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bloodswap, M/M, Mutant!Feferi, Royal Karkat, a world where Karkat is the leader of everything, after the events of Sburb, fuchsia!karkat, sorry about that. woops, tags will definitely change as the story progresses, this probably isn't going to be updated (at least for a while)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:38:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssg/pseuds/ssg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you are in a world where you have the privilege of being a royal.</p><p>As your culture dictates, it is necessary for everyone to have a bucket of genetic material ready for the collection drones when they arrive.</p><p>You refuse to abide by this rule and let it be known that you honestly don't give a single shit about finding a quadrantmate ever, but you are taken on 'blind dates' anyway. You are lucky that they don't force you to mate at all, though disobeying you would reasonably give you grounds to have them executed without a second thought, so maybe it's not luck at all.</p><p>The only other person you could even think about giving the rights to being in the same bedroom as you would have to be a seadweller, because there is no way in hell you're letting a landdweller mishandle you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Throne Room

Sometimes you wonder how the drone even has the audacity to approach your throne and ask in its monotone voice for your bucket. You know that you do not fill it, and you thought maybe the drone would learn the same, but the fact that it doesn't is obvious. There it stands, its bug-like eyes staring into yours blankly, its hideous mandibles clicking occasionally. You would get mad at it, if it made a difference.

"ONCE AGAIN, I DON'T HAVE ANY MATERIAL TO GIVE YOU. GET LOST." You have no empathy for the heartless creature, as it would not have any for you if you were any lower in blood color.

Your bodyguards, Equius and Nepeta, tense up. They always do, even though you know the drone cannot kill the ruler of the planet. Besides, even if it tried, it would be mauled or crushed without mercy. You're glad you chose your friends from the game to be your personal protectors. For what one lacks, the other makes up for. Leijon, agile with her claws and witty with her sharp tongue, and Zahhak, with knowledge of many things and a strength beyond most, if not all, Alternians.

The drone eyes them warily, registering for a moment that you are of a higher status than the bug can ever dream to be. You are above the law. Not only that, you are the law, and this fucking drone can eat shit. You would revolutionize the world's thinking and eliminate the insect's purpose if you could, but the Mother Grub has a necessity for material, and it cannot change its functions. Besides, with you being the new ruler, you think that if you changed too many rules at once, the underlings would revolt. They listen to your words, but not all are glad to have change. The highbloods with their ignorant minds are disgusted with the fact that you allowed the lower castes to be treated as equals. They still are not widely given those rights, but they are coming to be more accepted, and already couplings between the upper and lower classes are occurring in public.

 

The drone says no more and simply turns away, not even blinking at His Royal Aggressiveness. Yes, that is your title. You like it, in a way, though it is annoying when your friends mockingly refer to you as that. If they were not your own companions, you'd have them all beheaded. You do tend to get very violent without a second thought. (Maybe that's why the underlings haven't revolted yet?)

Equius speaks up, sighing in relief once the insect moves away. "I dislike that creature."

Nepeta shrugs - you assume that means she doesn't particularly care about it. "same."

"IF WE KILLED IT, IT'D JUST WASTE TIME BEFORE ANOTHER ONE WAS MADE." Your voice is always dominant over everyone else. You were born to lead, and you know this. You always held it over their heads, and it's also why you demanded to be the leader of one team with Vriska on the other. Vriska refused to be associated with the lowbloods, and as the gracious heir to the throne with a knack for being generous, you led them. There was no way you were letting Terezi or either of the greenbloods lead them.

Your opinion about the caste itself is varied. You believe the lowbloods should be treated the same as the highbloods, though you also believe that their status is inherently much lower than everyone else's. Then again, you think the same of most landwellers. You agree with Eridan whenever he says that they are very unpleasant (though this is mostly because of how frequently they pollute the oceans). There isn't much else you agree with him about, besides the fact that he's mentally unstable and potentially murderous. You were shocked when you watched him murder your friends, and you were even more shocked when you saw him live again once the apocalyptic game of Sgrub ended. You never saw the humans again, and it was like life was back to normal. It was sad in a way, but it didn't matter. You had a nation to run, and worrying about fragile sacks of flesh besides the ones under your own command wasn't worth your time or your thoughts (even if the human Wind and Time players had a significant potential to be quadrantmates).

Your Royal Advisor, Kanaya, came out of her chambers, elegantly dressed as always. She took a likening to the outfits of the palace, wearing most of the wardrobe the previous ruler (who was female) wore. You had no use for them, though you did like the jewelry, and kept all of it. It made Eridan jealous for quite some time, much to your pleasure, and you have a reason to believe it still does. Sucks for him.

When she spoke, everyone in the courtroom listened to her clear voice, smoothly ringing out in her even and calming tone. She had a talent of doing that, which almost made you even more angry than usual. No wonder they used to kill off the jadebloods. "You Know Karkat, I Think That You Should Take Your Mating Options Seriously. I Don't Mean To Impede On Your Absolute Rule, Or Attempt To Make You Do Something You Despise Doing, But We Will Need Someone To Eventually Take The Throne After You."

You stare at her, and shake your head. You hate the rules, you hate the Mother Grub, you hate your own society. You should be able to change everything and anything you want, but you can't because of how your race's reproductive systems work. You need that fatass to make more newborn Alternians, as much as you hate to admit it. Maybe Kanaya is right in a way, though. You've denied every request that has been asked of you, and there have been many. She has taken you on 'BL1ND D4T3S', as Terezi (the court's imperial judge) likes to call it, (apparently she heard the term from the humans?) and each time you refused to consider mating with them. Their blood color wasn't even taken into account, as you refused to have them segregated. Rustbloods to violetbloods alike were sat at a table in the palace across from you, and they would sing you praises and try to say something remarkable, anything to get you interested. You hated every single one of them, and you wanted to grab the chair you sat on and throw it at each of them. You didn't even listen to them on those days, your knuckles turned a lighter shade of gray on your chair's arms as you tried to not release your pure fury. Even now, as Kanaya suggested this, your fins fluttered in spite, and your blood felt significantly closer to boiling. "DON'T SAY THAT."

The Advisor sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm Sorry Karkat, But That Is The Way That It Has To Be. You Know That. The Only Reason I Say This Is Because You're Not Going To Live Forever."

You grit your teeth as you remember a few assassination attempts in particular. The first was by Vriska. It was because she felt as though your rule was impossible to abide by, and you watched as Equius was given no choice but to crush her neck. He cried but clenched his jaw, not allowing himself to show any further signs of mourning than his blue tears. The blood was particularly difficult to clean up, and Eridan was sent off to execute the giant spider her lusus was in order to feed it to your own lusus. Even wih you in power, the Great Glub was still a power to be feared. Eridan was the official executor of the lusi of the deceased, since their lifespans generally surpassed the ones of Alternians. It was a job that had to be done, and he was the most eligible to do it.

The second attempt was by your former moirail, Gamzee. You knew he was demented. He was murderous without those poisonous... things of his. You don't even know if calling them 'food' would be accurate. They were disgusting. Faygo and slime pies... You sometimes gag at the thought of eating them. When Gamzee was sober, his hemophobia ran deeper than ever. He was hard to pacify as it was, but he flew into an uncontrollable rage when you declared that you were changing the way the blood caste worked. Nepeta was the one who took him down, and you could've sworn you saw a smile on her face as she relentlessly gouged his eyes out, yowling the entire time. He was so disfigured that it was difficult to identify his corpse afterward.

Two of your friends, one of them being close to you, were unable to accept your new laws, and if friends couldn't accept it, then there was a lot of danger for you. More than you my ever know. Sollux is responsible for keeping eyes on the media, watching for news and propaganda against you, and Aradia personally goes out into the world to look for anarchists wishing to overthrow your rule. As the one with the lowest of blood, besides Feferi, she is easily disguised. Feferi is your emissary, who delivers letters to and from you. She is always near you, with pen and paper ready to write. Her penmanship is renowned around the world to be elegant and bubbly, like her own personality. You also have her ink color in fuchsia, just like your blood. It makes it more official that way, you think.

"KANAYA, I REALLY DON'T NEED A MATESPRIT RIGHT NOW. OR A KISMESIS." Your eyes shift to your scribe, who is currently scribbling in her personal journal. Maybe there should be notes everywhere about how unnecessary it is for you to find someone to mate with.

"I'm Serious Your Royal Aggressiveness, This Needs To Be Addressed And Taken Into Consideration For Your Own Sake."

"NO."

"Please Listen. Just Try To Find Someone You Can Actually Bring Yourself To Enjoy Being Around And Maybe You Won't Have To Hear Me Talk About It Anymore."

You sneer at her, and stand up. She's the closest thing to a moirail you currently have, so offending her too greatly isn't in your best interest. "I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL. I'LL FIND SOMEONE TO FUCK WHEN I FIND SOMEONE. THIS IS MY PERSONAL BUSINESS, AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY YOURSELF WITH ANY OF THE DETAILS." Of course, you'd tell her what's on your mind in private later. The two of you have already arranged this, and she understands that this is all for show. She manages to act wounded every time, however. You wonder how much of it is acting and how much of it is real. She strides away without another word, a frown on her features.

At that time, Tavros walked into the throne room, out of his chambers. Was this some kind of shitty reunion? He is the royal ambassador, who isn't seen in the throne room often. He goes to the other nations around the world to read out your laws, his metal legs serving him well by carrying him around the world (when not traveling by plane). He also hears from the other countries' rulers and reports back to the head of the world, which is you. That's how your government works. You changed that too, since your kingdom was too far for you to rule over all of it. It's much more efficient to have representatives. You allowed the countries to vote whoever they wanted into office, and the 10 nations gave Tavros the names of those who were elected, and then he told you. You didn't even bother remembering their names or blood colors, it didn't matter to you. Though if you asked, Tavros would easily tell you off of the top of his head. It was his duty to know everything about the other nations, and having an official government job made him much more confident (plus the death of Vriska cleared his mind significantly). He spoke with a different dialect most of the time, vastly different than the one with his old nervous attitude.

"So what was that all about? 1s someth1ng wrong?"

"NO, NOTHING IS WRONG. JUST THE USUAL."

"You yell1ng at other people?"

"YEAH."

"Oh. Okay."

The only person missing from the throne room now is your purple-blooded companion, who is - oh. Apparently he's walking in through the doors unannounced. Great. You sit back down for this, because this will probably be great to hear.


	2. Uncharted Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if your love life wasn't enough to worry about, now there's something else entirely new that you didn't even bother to worry about.
> 
> Well, new is a bad word to call it. It's actually incredibly old.

Tavros was about to walk back to his chambers when Eridan burst in the door, with his scarf askew and breath far too fast to be calm. This is probably just another episode of your 'bro' (sometimes Eridan pretends to be 'cool' and calls you that, even though you insist that he doesn't) being dramatic. He does this frequently.

In fact, after everyone just stared at Eridan in confusion, he said nothing and shut the doors behind him. You decide that his entrance was unreasonable, inquiring "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" as he fixes his scarf and smooths his hair down. There was something odd about the way he walked, but he remained silent. He locks his eyes with yours, and there's something in them that you're completely unfamiliar with. Fear? Despair?

He approaches you directly, his steps too slow for his natural gait. What is he playing at? And suddenly all at once, it was like he was flicked by some kind of massive finger playing with dominoes. He clattered to the floor, and Feferi rushed to him. "ERIDAN!" Her journal was completely forgotten, open on the page she was writing on moments before. Eridan didn't move at all. Equius walked briskly to come lift him up, exiting the doors to the throne room and presumably heading toward the infirmary. You blink, struggling to get out of a shocked stupor. What just happened?

Nepeta looks at you grimly. "i know fur sure that it looked like he was hurt. what do mew think got him?"

Your fins flatten against the sides of your face, reflecting your worrisome thoughts. He may be an idiot, but if he knew he was wounded, why didn't he just go to the infirmary himself? Why did he rush in and then spontaneously act so calm?

Feferi had followed Equius out, her journal still open on her desk. You've given thought to having her desk moved back into her chambers, but you prefer it to be right there so that she can write your messages immediately, and have Tavros deliver them. (Most of the time you have Sollux send whatever you want around the world through the media, but some things are better done through official means.)

You don't know what to think about Eridan suddenly collapsing. Did he bleed on the rug? You look to your husktop, thinking about opening it to contact Sollux. Would he know what happened? He installed a few cameras around the palace just for security measures, but what if Ampora's wounds didn't come from something on the palace grounds?

Your concern is evident, as the rest of the throne room - Tavros, Nepeta, and apparently Kanaya came out of her room earlier - were all staring at you. Sollux would be too, if his workplace wasn't far from being attached to the throne room. He liked being away so that he'd have one of the last places to be infiltrated, should the palace ever be invaded. He was a mile underground, using the emergency escape tunnels as his own refuge. Of course, to have internet down there, several extension cords had to be run downward.

You tap your fingers on the arm of your throne nervously. You decide to stand up, and nod at the others. "LET'S GO."

Your robes are difficult to not trip over as you jog in the infirmary's direction, trailed by your friends. You're glad that you didn't put on the floor-length cape, because Tavros was likely to step on it.

Once you step into the infirmary, which was a jog through the courtyard, the smell of sanitation chemicals hits your nose. There are fellow adolescent trolls weaving and walking calmly from bed to bed, and your eyes scan the patients for one in particular. Where is he? Did Equius actually carry him here, or did he think he could just repair him in his own workshop? (You doubt the latter to be true, but fiddlesti%, that sweaty asshat gets the shittiest ideas.)

Kanaya steps forward, starting to search more closely. Equius at that time showed himself, brushing past her to get straight to you. "He needs to see you, and only you, so he says." You frown darkly, and reluctantly ask "DID HE TELL YOU WHY?" "He's not even attempting to 100sen his tongue." Nepeta frowns at her moirail, and if Equius hadn't been wearing his glasses as per usual, it'd be obvious that he looked back. You gently place a hand on Equius to push past him (glad that you forced him to wear long sleeves as part of his uniform, because even those sleeves felt damp with sweat). Kanaya stood up straight and wrung her wrists in anxiety, no longer able to keep her mind busy.

You pass about fifteen more trolls suffering from various wounds before you find the one you're looking for. His eyes are eerily wide open, staring blankly ahead. He doesn't even notice you as you approach his bed. You place your hands on the metal frame, leaning forward to gaze at him more clearly. He looks paler than usual, and his fins are stock still. What's wrong with him? If you didn't clear your throat, he wouldn't have even noticed you arrived.

"kar." is the first word he says, and he motions for you to come closer. You do, and you swear your knuckles were significantly paler with how hard you clenched, reflecting the color of Skaia's clouds. This was bad, this was really bad. What the hell happened? Your voice drops low, not wanting to disturb the other patients (nor reveal what he was about to tell you). "eridan?" He closes his eyes for a moment, and it looked like he lost consciousness again, but he speaks nonetheless. It took quite some effort for him to say just two words, but those two words made your cold-blooded systems turn nearly frozen.

"great... glub."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be more to explain on how Eridan survived the Great Glub (obviously it wasn't to its maximum potential), and more about how this could spell doom for the entire planet, but for now have panicky quirk drops.
> 
> This is more of an actual story rather than just Erikat development/smut, but it'll be there eventually. No idea when or how. Woops. owo

**Author's Note:**

> There's going to be a lot of headcanon in this story, and I can only hope that you guys are okay with it. The Erikat ship has yet to officially sail, but there'll be updates eventually. I can't really say when because my schedule's lame as it is, but there will be more chapters to come. It's hitting five thirty in the morning as I write these, and I don't know if this story's nearly as good as I think it is, but we'll just see. There could be smut eventually, or I could never update this thing again. I don't know, I'm honestly surprised I even wrote this.  
> When I heard about a bloodswap where Karkat ends up having fuchsia blood, i just knew I had to write about it.


End file.
